Flashmann '

2012-03-16T08:13:00.001+08:00

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2012-03-15T23:10:00.003+08:00

HI. im back from sentosaaaaa. it was fun trip. a reallly fun one. :) shall post about it with pictures maybe by saturday k! WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEE. :D hehehe. but wait, i needa chiong homeworks first. -_- blardyhell.

hi

2012-03-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

HI I TRIMMED MY FRINGE BY MYSELF. and like no difference liddat. Okaycan TILLTHEN. bye sexies. Love you. currently 自-high-ing x)

what's wrong ?

2012-03-13T17:53:00.001+08:00

I hate myself, i hate to, to try control yourself when you can't. Hard to understand but. I Just cant control my emotions. and i hate that .

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SPAZZ.

2012-03-12T20:45:00.004+08:00

firstly, BIG BANG IS BACK !

secondly, SHINee IS NEXT !

till then x

disappointed.

2012-03-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

Sigh. yes, sigh. that's all i can do. sigh.

follow me ? ♥

2012-03-10T23:15:00.004+08:00

F-LASHBACKS.TUMBLR

NATIONAL'S 2012

2012-03-08T19:35:00.007+08:00

Sp, HI ! i'm finally back with a PROPER post. been busy, busy, busy these few days.

Firstly, School. Damn tough. plus my conditions = fml. having bad cough till my voice go hoarse, and like a voice break only.

took many more medicines, which obviously killed me in class. super weak, and tired. how to explain .. i also don't know how. just, tough. tired opening my eyes wide in class. but, fail. so yeah, cough is kinda improving after medications. SO IS MY EYE ! but not my body, -_- super weak T.T come on Grace ! hang on .

and yeah, i can always fall asleep anytime, anywhere. too weak.

So, before i start writting, I SHALL LET YOU SEE *LE PICTURES. :) make you jelly first. teehee.

my holy chair. HAHAHAHA. inside joke ! x)

Hehe, there's still much more, in my handphone and vivien's. so yeah.

TODAY'S MATCH against FU HUA SECONDARY.

WE WON 5-0 ! Means .. WE'RE QUALIFIED FOR THE NATIONALS TOP 8 !

And we've not lost to any schools at the moment. *slight hopes of getting into Top 4* ME GUSTA. :3 heeheehee. kaykay, i lazy to elaborate more and bore you further. i shall eat, bath and sleep early. already dozing off half way while typing le T.T sad . so tired, i hate this me..

and a very big thankyou, to those who constantly encouraged, and cheered me up these few days. without you guys, i won't be here today. ♥

Bye.

anyways, CRAZY BIST FRIND! WELCOME BACK TO SINGAPORE. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! see you tomorrow ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2012-03-06T23:30:00.001+08:00

Feeling so so sick.. I don't know how long I can tahan . I just hope I can. Given an MC for tmrw. But once again, yeah. I can't afford to lose lessons so, liddat lo. Go school .. One pile of medicines waiting for me. Haishhhhh.
And everyone's loving my sexy voice. :3 TEEHEE. But damn tough uh .. Anyways, today Yishun town B'div girls won Gan Eng Seng secondary with a score of 3-2 ! Yayy. So did the C'girls who won Anglican high .
Three cheers and three cheers for Yishun town! Hip hip hurray! Hip hip hurray! Hip hip HURRAY! Hahaha k lame. Anyways, saw many familiar faces. Such as , okay no im not gonna list every single name. There's prolly too many . X: wellll, gotta sleep.tired maximum . Nights xx will kinda edit this post when imma free. Sorry for the wordy post T.T !

Sunday morning.

2012-03-04T12:30:00.002+08:00

[EDITED]

Holla, currently posting via iPad. :3 happydie! But distracting uh ..

Anyways. Health's deteriorating , coughs coughs and coughs. In a dilemma , see doctor or .. Not? Seeing doctor is just a waste of time, money -,- haish .. Byee, shall update again soon. :)

2012-03-02T23:08:00.004+08:00

But like seriously, who really looks into a person's inner beauty?

I just wanna have

and have a

Just as simple as that.

i wanna be sitting by the sea alone right now, the quiet sea. where troubles disappear, where you're all alone, where you get what you call, peace. where waves come clashing in. and the sounds of the chattering seagulls, the gentle splashes of the incoming waves, the fresh kinda smell and air blowing through your face. as it happens, all thoughts in your mind just instantly get blown away as well.

[ Ignore below if you don't wanna see my rant, and if you do so. do not get affected. also, stop judging and keep your comments to yourself. not happy , too bad. i've already warned you not to read . ]

who will understand? i'm facing great pressure, i need peace. i need encouragement. not more stress, more troubles. can you understand? how hard isit to really withstand all this . all this shit. it's tough. whenever i don't put up a smile. everyone just come asking what's going on. and then. after saying so so much, they simply tell you one or two short sentences and just walk away. fucking retarded. and i'll have to please them by smiling like nothing is fucking going on in my mind? that i'm breaking down any fucking moment? i get moodswings coming already. it's only day 2 of medication. why am i like that? who fucking understands? fuck this shit if you've no intention to care, only to just stuff your head in and pretend to care, just to be a busybody and try to make yourself sound important to me to people. just fuck off k. i don't wanna waste my breath or even energy to talk to you . *no specific person that i'm referring to . don't make wild guesses. tyvm*

hiii

2012-03-01T18:12:00.003+08:00

Yeah, my jabs. the fucking pain ones were the one with a big circle and the one above. the one above ( for CT scan ) made me vomit like shit ytd twice. ._. );

Seeya ! needa chion my tests revivsions, AMA, homeworks and revision. goodluck man. ._. Sorry for the lack of updates ! T.T

ONCE AGAIN. Follow me @

Istangram @Gracecmy

Tumblr @F-lashbacks

bestfriends.

2012-03-01T17:53:00.003+08:00

Guybestfriends are the coolest things you'll ever have. Joshua, rifqi, leon, where are you? I loved the times with Maurice as well. That was when i felt so .. happy. I missed the times where, we'll talk about each other's life while sitting quietly and, all the memories just flow into your mind. sharing about family problems, studies and friends. like having a true, heartfelt h2h talk. It was so nice talking to you guys, spilling everything out. I missed the times, when we play along roads while walking our way to buy icepops. staying back in school , play block catchings. And those never ending laughters.. And the troubles you guys always made up. The troubles which never fails to give me a mini-heart attack.

Kicking the football madly, crashing onto construction sites making it fucking loud! Somemore in the hdb. I scared people complain nah. Also, jamming the lift -,- .. ! Challenging football with the amk sec guys in the bball court till neighbors complain and police came -,- , somemore staring at people. ._. And playing around in np thus getting caught by the guards. Playing ball in class till the windows broke and glass was scattered like !?!?!. and mr woo came up ._. And got one more!! I forgot! I only remembered that it made maurice and i run into the toilet to hide xD ! Tho those really gave me miniheartattacks, at the end. It made me realise the true meaning of friends. Despite all the troubles we created. We'll never leave anyone behind, or alone. We're friends, one for all all for one. We'll never, betray. I missed those times. Like really .. after we moved into a new class, new environment with hetic scheldules .. we barely meet up. where are you guys now?

tears.

2012-02-26T12:06:00.003+08:00

Instagram @gracecmy

Tumblr @f-lashbacks.

day 4.

2012-02-24T23:38:00.002+08:00

Hehe haiiiiii. Its day 4. How's your day today? Saddening? Bad? Full of crap? Well, cheer up. Tmrw will be a betterrrrr day. Hehe. keep S.M.I.L.I.N.G ! it helps. :))) fun? Happy? Full of joy? Good for ya! happy go lucky? *highfives* stay cool yo . Okay this is crap . Im just trying to make this post more longer. Heehee.

Okaayyy, so, let's just not talk about unhappy stuffs for today. Hee.

Had training at night. Before that ate, chatted, camwhored, slept, laughed, and . 0.1%energy left. Leg was so so sore training supposed to be fun. haa forget it. Idk what to post! ): okay i haven't touched my ace-learning. I hope the worksheet uploaded wouldn't expire so soon. *-* SEEEYAAALL. ^^

More pictures will be posted when i get to touch my computer. :) STAYTUNED.

Follow me ;

instagram @gracecmy

Tumblr @f-lashbacks.tumblr.com

Day 3.

2012-02-23T17:21:00.006+08:00

Hai, how's life? LOL. okay forget it.

today went back to school. pretty boring, i think. haha. did my amath and emath level test. confirm plus chop fail ^^ , anyw. the school was super empty. the advantage would be - less teachers = HAVOC TIME . but no one to go mad with T.T ! #foreverlonely.

it's day 4 tmrw, they will all be back. my feelings are going 50-50 . i'm happy coz i'll get to see them. but at the same time .. sad? confused? worried? yeah, all of them will start talking about how interesting and awesome the sec 3 camp was . they'll start talking talking and, talking. whereby they'll most probably forget my presense. or even my classmates, they'll all be so bonded. except me.

did my english journal writting today, about sec 3 camp. i didn't know what to write, am i suppose to hand in a blank piece of work? well ofcourse not. (HAHA!) i wrote exactly 3pages of thoughts and feelings. poured everything out, except for personal ones. till i almost cried. almost.

Having 2 more and counting appointments with the doctors. One on monday, another on wedneseday. i'm worried.

[ f-lashbacks ]

Day 2.

2012-02-22T18:52:00.003+08:00

♥♥♥ !

Hihi, just a short update. Had been spam playing these 3 awesome songs in my ears lately. ESPECIALLY Ft island's severely. it's a MUST to listen !! :B & this is what i truly call music. where feelings from the music, from the voice, just pour into your heart. despite not knowing what the meaning truly meant in the first place, you could already feel what it's trying to tell. it's just, so, .. perfect .

It has been the 2nd day. i'm already accepting the act that there's no camp for me, and that i'll have to report to school again tmrw at the usual timing. tsk ._. 2 math tests to take tmrw -__- . sure die.

anyway, today's appointment was kinda, better? the doctors became much friendlier coz i've seen them for days. and they'll see me and go " HI ! :D *waveeees* " Hehehe, very cute. :3 Ahh, my eyes ain't getting better. gonna have a hard time in class. oh well. done of talking, See ya. :)

Day 1.

2012-02-21T20:30:00.002+08:00

I hope that you'll fall in love with my smile, just like how i fell in love with yours.

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ZONALS` 2012.♥

2012-02-20T20:19:00.003+08:00

It has come to an end of the north zone table tennis competition. we shouted till our voices were gone. Throats were burning. Hearts, racing madly. Yes. But despite our effort and prayers, we lost to CHIJ st nicholas secondary. it was a good match tho. :) YIDAO YIDAO ALL THE WAY!

Ohohoh, Mr Tan ( previous ytss principal ) , Mrs tan, Cao lao shi ! and some more other supporters came to show their support towards us all the way to punggol ! Thankk youu. ♥

B girls : 2ND

B boys : 4TH

C girls : 3RD

C boys : 3RD

♥♥♥♥♥

Tmrw is the day, everyone should be packing their bags with a heart full of anticipation forthe next day. I'm so jealous. So sad. How i wish i could tag along as well too .. to miss all the fun, the bonding sessions, the laughter and the obstacles .. );

no friends? no me. (:

2012-02-19T20:49:00.003+08:00

[EDITED]

I just wanna thank everyone, everyone who tried to cheer me up.

Thanks for being there when i needed you guys. It was the biggest encouragement ever. Even if it was just a sentence or so, it still meant alot to me. The constant reminders of being strong and not to give up. It pulled me out from this small fucking hole. Where i get stuck inside not knowing what to do, where am i, why am i like this, wtf is going on. Also, Sorry for being a nuisance, sorry for my mood swings, sorry for my tantrums. Thanks for always being there patiently listening to my troubles . ♥ through this obstacle, i finally realized how many true, great and awesome friends that i have, constantly caring and worrying about me. Sorry if i really made you guys worry. if not for you guys, i dont know what i'll be doing right now. Probably i've already been up in heaven. Once again, thankyou so so so so much ♥

I've thought it throughly, i can do it. I pray that the report would show saying that im having allergies, and not other bad sickness. I just hope that tmrw during our finals, we would put in our best effort and hopefully we'll win. I just hope that, i can stay strong like how am i doing right now.

Vivien, yewei, yuki, ernrae, wangshan, jiaqi, Claudia, gem, eunice, sandra, tiffany, melvin, jinwen, zhiquan, yijie and sherman. Thank you truckloads . ): ! (': there may be more silently wishing me, hehe thankyou! :)

好累，真的好累。我好想，好想放弃。

2012-02-18T21:00:00.001+08:00

2012-02-18T18:48:00.001+08:00

Im, stuck. I dont know what i want, what im doing. I just want someone to comfort me. I dont know what for. I just feel scared, very. I feel lost, confused. I dont know what to do. No one will ever understand. It hurts. A feeling that is indescribable. A feeling that only you knows. How hard isit to actually go through all this shit. I don't know. It sucks, its tough. Its very very tough. ):

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tumblr understands.

2012-02-18T16:26:00.006+08:00

Y U STILL NO FOLLOW ?

Daily History
Day Date Hits

Today 02/18/12 15

Yesterday 02/17/12 7

2 Days Ago 02/16/12 16

3 Days Ago 02/15/12 8

4 Days Ago 02/14/12 12

5 Days Ago 02/13/12 12

6 Days Ago 02/12/12 8

7 Days Ago 02/11/12 23

8 Days Ago 02/10/12 5

9 Days Ago 02/09/12 10

10 Days Ago 02/08/12 16

11 Days Ago 02/07/12 3

12 Days Ago 02/06/12 9

13 Days Ago 02/05/12 20

14 Days Ago 02/04/12 15

15 Days Ago 02/03/12 8

16 Days Ago 02/02/12 12

17 Days Ago 02/01/12 4

18 Days Ago 01/31/12 2

19 Days Ago 01/30/12 15

20 Days Ago 01/29/12 14

21 Days Ago 01/28/12 8

22 Days Ago 01/27/12 13

23 Days Ago 01/26/12 9

24 Days Ago 01/25/12 6

25 Days Ago 01/24/12 4

26 Days Ago 01/23/12 15

27 Days Ago 01/22/12 6

28 Days Ago 01/21/12 36

29 Days Ago 01/20/12 29

30 Days Ago 01/19/12 8

Weekly History

Week	Dates	Hits
This Week	02/12/12 - 02/18/12	78
Last Week	02/05/12 - 02/11/12	86
2 Weeks Ago	01/29/12 - 02/04/12	70
3 Weeks Ago	01/22/12 - 01/28/12	61
4 Weeks Ago	01/15/12 - 01/21/12	117
5 Weeks Ago	01/08/12 - 01/14/12	106
6 Weeks Ago	01/01/12 - 01/07/12	80
7 Weeks Ago	12/25/11 - 12/31/11	202
8 Weeks Ago	12/18/11 - 12/24/11	123
9 Weeks Ago	12/11/11 - 12/17/11	91
10 Weeks Ago	12/04/11 - 12/10/11	107
11 Weeks Ago	11/27/11 - 12/03/11	100
12 Weeks Ago	11/20/11 - 11/26/11	82
13 Weeks Ago	11/13/11 - 11/19/11	146
14 Weeks Ago	11/06/11 - 11/12/11	108

Whoever you are, reading my blog daily, weekly or even seldomly. Just reading, THANKS ALOT. :D

its hard putting up a strong front.

2012-02-17T18:26:00.001+08:00

I really want to go. I really want. You know how it feels when the doctor says " come back on wenesday " and you're like. Wtf i got camp. can postpone? And they'll shut you off and say no. Wenesday means wenesday. You know how pain isit when all this words come into your mind and how hard isit to controll the tears from falling and how hard it is to bear the pain of 3 jabs and how hard and sad is it to see my parents .. ? Every minute i just feel like crying and am feelong so weak. Everywhere i go, everywhere i sit. I just feel like sleeping.

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please?

2012-02-17T10:34:00.001+08:00

I just hope next week will be all fine . As long as i can play in the finals, and share the joy with my teammates, as long as i can go for the camp, as long as i nees not comr back here again. I dont mind the number of jabs. I just want everything to be over soon.

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2012-02-16T17:34:00.001+08:00

Suck in the tears, you're strong. This will all be ove soon.. Grace jiayou..

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2012-02-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

Hi .. How's life ? it's been long since we've started chatting ..

Valentines day !

2012-02-14T21:33:00.004+08:00

It all started on sunday, we headed out to Orchard!

It was fucking epic when we took this picture. HAHAHAHA. thats why you'll see our epic faces x.x

VALENTINE'S DAY

HOPE THOSE WHO RECIEVED THEM LOVED IT. ;D teehee.

realitly sucks.

2012-02-11T23:23:00.001+08:00

yes, i admit. Im stuggling. Its hard. Im just a normal academic standard student. Its hard to stay and catch up with people in the express stream. I ain't like those girls who gets high aggregate for their PSLE. I ain't those who can catch up with studies easily, learns fast, understands easily. i tried my best, i assumed. But nothing came out of it. People see you through grades, and thats thr reality. Biology is hard. Amaths is hard. Chemistry is hard. Life sure is hard.

Feeling damn sick and tired. of the shit load pile of homeworks, tests, and revision. And the forever-coming-sudden feeling of loneliness. It sucks, this sucks. I want to end this quickly. I hate the constant feelings of insecurity. It sucks.

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Fearless.

2012-02-11T22:07:00.002+08:00

HI. k i know its kinda late, but .....

CONGRATS TO THE TABLE TENNIS TEAM !!

Four of our teams have merged into the Zonals Top 4 ! YAYYYYY. it's been a history. table tennis ftwwww ! may we all get into the nationals top 8 once again, together. ♥

Perssure, stress, fear. we're going to play against Anderson and St nicholas. stress. ): yidao jiayou jiayou jiayou ! ♥

this sucks, all i want is the spirit of 2E7 back again.

2012-02-09T19:44:00.001+08:00

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2012-02-08T18:39:00.003+08:00

http://f-lashbacks.tumblr.com/

here it goes again.

2012-02-06T20:40:00.001+08:00

Hi viruses, bacterias and germs. Welcome to my body. So long no see.

and there goes my taste bud. Hopefully a fever wouldn't strike me tomorrow or even this whole week. Gonna have training at night and competition in the afternoon against Evergreen tmrw. and for the following days.. tests tests tests ..

Yidao, jiayou!

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terrible headache plus a bad nose. it feels so miserable.

2012-02-05T23:48:00.001+08:00

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2012-02-05T21:25:00.001+08:00

A busy week ahead, i hope i wont fall sick. Having diarrhoea lately and a bad nose.

Xoxo.

「答應不准再愛我」

2012-02-05T16:26:00.000+08:00

「你确定你要跟我交往？」
「嗯。」我点点头

她犹豫了一下…「那有一个条件…」
「什么？」

「明年的今天我们要分手。」
「什么？」还没开始交往就谈分手？

「到底要不要？」
「为什么？」

「因为我还年轻，不想现在就被爱套住一辈子。」

跟她认识是在两个月前。
当天我们两个匆匆忙忙的要去图书馆，
在门口刚好〝撞个正着〞。

她很生气的说「你不知道女士优先吗？」
「妳不知道现在讲求男女平等吗？」我也不服气的问她
虽然以身材看，我当然占了优势。

本来是要道歉的，看到她这么咄咄逼人，
我忍不住也顶了回去。
「你不是我们班上那个自以为很帅，
长的很占空间的许彦平？」

「什么自以为啊？像你这种丑小鸭
我根本不记得班上有妳这个人。」

我长得又高又瘦，电脑一级棒，又是篮球校队的队员。
而且我还会弹钢琴～连我都很佩服我自己。
这不是自大！是自信！

她插着腰皱着眉
「说的也是，脸皮厚的人
给人家的印象总是比较深刻嘛～」

挖哩勒$#$&
从那刻开始，我们两个没一刻不吵，
一见面非得斗他个三分钟以上
可是住一切在别人眼中全成了〝打情骂俏〞。

「我就算没长眼也不会看上她这个〝虎罢母〞。」

「我也没兴趣让大猪公喜欢上我。」

「……。」无言

其实她人缘不错，班上很多人都跟她打成一片，
她开朗、不做作。
但是！他唯独对我老是那种气死人的态度。
但是在不知不觉中，跟她斗嘴变成一种很自然、
很轻松的事…
有时候看她跟其他人斗嘴，心里竟会泛起酸酸的感觉……

天气渐凉，我摸摸自己的额头…「有一点热说…。」
最后我还是决定去练篮球。
跑在体育馆的地板上，身体有点不听使唤，
女生的尖叫声此时变的很刺耳。

我跟着队友回防「彦平～接着！」
我一个不留神，被篮球打中，跌坐在地板上。
一伙人一轰而上，突然从人群中冒出一个人，拉着我说
「还坐在这嘛？去保健室啊。」

是她…
她跟我那群围着我的队友说
「你们继续练吧，我扶他去保健室啦。」

为什么没有人阻止她？
「我还可以走，我說妳…不怕被上面那群女生杀？? 」
「啊～？什么？」她眨眨眼，一脸疑惑。真是个笨蛋……。

到了保健室，发现保健护士跷班。
「她又不在了。」
「我说你嘛爱逞强？被球砸到还跌倒，真够你的丢脸了。」
她就不能说点别的吗？

她摸摸我的额头，我吓了一跳「妳怎么知道我发烧？」
「筊杯。」她说的理所当然
我一脸受不了的样子「耍笨啊？」
「没啦，因为你今天看起来很没精神啊，骂起来很没感觉。」
这也能算理由？ …我看着她发呆的脸，
突然很想、很想把她占为己有。

「羽澄…当我的女朋友，好吗？…」
「看吧，我就知道你们两个一定有问题。」
我搂着她「有什么问题？」
「冤家变亲家喔～」旁边的人跟着起哄

冬天的时候抱着她真的很舒服，她呵呵的笑着。
我不知道她怎么处理我的那些〝倒贴贴纸〞，
只知道那些似乎难不倒她。
我喜欢骑着我的机车载她回家，
她本来还不肯，因为有捷运。

但是…我喜欢她紧张时紧紧的抱着我，
当然我不会跟她说我这种有点色色的感觉。
跟她说，她大概会笑着骂我说〝大色猪〞～

１２月将至，街上已经处处弥漫着圣诞节的味道了。
她最近感觉一直瞒着我偷偷进行什么事，
我当然没问，因为…装傻啊～
我知道我的生日在１２月，当然他如果不是在忙我的事，
我大概会…抓狂吧。

「走吧、走吧～」放学她就拉着我~走。
我装傻的说「去哪啊？放学要乖乖回家喔。」
她捶我，嘟着嘴说「你再装嘛！好～那我回家啦～」
「啊啊～卖啦，大姊。」我抱住她不让她走
她拍拍我的脸「那还不快走？」
「去哪里？」
「去看海啊～你不是很喜欢海吗？
我发现一个很漂亮的地方喔。」
「这种天气妳会感冒的。」
「安啦～我的身体健康的很，走啦～」

我们搭火车来到基隆，她熟稔的绕过几条街，人渐渐稀少…。
「你看～快看啊。」
望着深蓝色的海，远处的灯火依稀点缀着海岸线，
天上竟露出几颗星星。
海浪拍打着海岸，风的声音在耳边环绕…。
「看呆啦？呵呵～」她握着我的手，
「好漂亮…。」
「当然，我找了好久。」

她放开我的手，在包包里头找东西
我看着她「妳在找什么？」
她从包包拿出两支蜡烛，一包东西。
她点燃一支蜡烛，然后说「我只拿两支蜡烛，
一支代表你，一支代表我。」

她指着她没燃起的蜡烛说
「这支是你，我不要你燃烧」
「因为我会用生命为你点亮黑夜喔。当我燃烧完时…」
她打开那包东西「我用我的心为你织一条围巾，
这样你就不会冷了。」

我紧紧的抱着她，心中的感动我说不出口
「傻瓜..我只会怕你冷。」
我轻轻覆上她的唇……竟忽略了她所说的话…是多么的苦…。

圣诞节到了，刚过完生日没多久，她说不想大肆庆祝。
于是我们去华纳看了一场电影，然后去清大看夜景。
她依偎着我「如果台北下一场雪就好了。」
「呵呵～下雪麻？」
「我想化成雪，而且是那种温暖的雪喔。」
「恩…然后呢？」
「然后啊…覆盖在台北，因为你住在台北。」
「傻瓜。我已经有围巾啦，不怕冷了。」

她没有回话，静静的问我说「平…我问你喔…」
「恩，给妳问。」我把他搂进我的外套里，她的脸埋在我的胸口
「你会爱我多久？」
我楞了一下，我知道很多女生都会问这个
但是…，我怎么觉得她问的…很苦？
我想了想…「我会爱妳到妳不再爱我为止。」
「你说的喔…爱我到我不再爱你为止…。」

我突然感觉胸口一阵湿润
我慌了，第一次看她哭
「妳怎么了？是不是哪里不舒服啊？」
她笑着说「没啦～我太感动了嘛。呵呵～」

很快的新的一年又到了，我们一如往常，感情越来越好。
有时候我们会因为对方吃点小醋，吵点架，却依然很甜蜜。
当初有些不看好我们的同学，现在也只能在旁羡慕。
今天一早，门铃突然响起。
从桃园上台北读书，所以我一个人在外头租房子。
假日早上门铃就大响，我拖着半睡半醒的身子起身开门。

「谁啊～？啊，怎么是妳？」
我打开门，她不说话，跟着我进了家门。
坐到沙发上后，她脸色凝重的说「我们分手吧。」
我楞在那，这句台词在电视的肥皂剧场看到，
怎么现在换成我？
「妳是开玩笑的还是哪根螺丝掉了？」我生气的问她
「我是认真的。」她低着头
「发生什么事了吗？昨天不是还好好的？」
我尽量压低我的怒气
她双手握着，依然低着头「是啊，但是我今天是很认真的…」
「认真个屁！」我忍不住骂出口
她突然抬起头说「认真的过愚人节啊～哈哈～」
她扑上我，调皮的抱着我「愚人节快乐喔～」

我捏着她的脸「快乐个头啊，拜托一下，
不要一早就来吓人好不好？」
「啊啊～好痛啦！」她打着我的肩膀
「谁叫妳要开这种玩笑。」
「你好生气喔。」
「废话！没事说要分手，你电视剧看太多啊？」
「我很认真的跟你过每个节日，怎么可以骂我～」
她离开我的大腿上，跟我扮了个鬼脸，我起身追着她跑

「妳不要跑，气死我了。」我指着床对面的她
「哈哈～才不理你呢。年老盛衰喔你。
我贼贼的笑，跑了过去，她当然马上躲，我伸手把拦住她，
这就是栏球技巧上的〝假动作〞啦～
我现在把它发挥的淋漓尽至

她被我压在床上动弹不得「看妳往哪跑。」
她不说话，我低头看她，发现她脸色苍白
「妳怎么了？哪里不舒服？」
我起身扶着她，她摸着胸口，
喘喘气「没啦，气喘啊，没事的。」

「对不起，我忘了妳有气喘…。」
「没关系啦～走吧，我们一起去吃早餐。」
「嗯。」感觉上怪怪的，但是…大概是我想太多了吧。
秋天到了，提醒着我她的生日将近，
也提醒着我一年的期限快到了…。

不知道她忘了没，我现在当然很后悔当初为什么要答应她。
不过看她也没记起的迹象…大概她自己也忘了吧。
「彦平、彦平，大事不好了～」小黑匆匆从教室外跑进来
「嘛？是拉登要攻美了，还是舒琪要退出演艺圈？」
「你还有那个心情开玩笑？羽澄在走廊昏倒了。」
「什么？你说什么？」我冲出教室，一把抱起昏倒的她，直往医院冲

我的直觉告诉我，这绝不是平凡的昏倒，不安的神经不停跳动…
「拜托妳可千万别出事…。」
手术灯亮起，我坐在外头静静的等
不知道过了多久，医生从门的另一边把她推出来。
她口上带着氧气罩，挂着点滴，脸色很白。
「你就是许彦平吧。」医生在我未开口前打断了我
我惊讶的看着他「你怎么知道？」
「我当然知道，我是她的主治医师。她常常提起你…。」
「主治医师？什么意思？她不是很健康？怎么…」
他摇头「那是因为她一直没告诉你，
她不是气喘，而是心脏病。」

「你、你胡说什么？…」
「我没有胡说，她的生命已经所剩不多了，好好把握吧。」
我颤抖，无法接受这突来的消息…
不久后，她的家人也赶来了
她母亲看着我，摸着我了脸说「孩子…不要难过，
因为你，羽澄才能把她最后的生命活得这么漂亮…。」
我的泪终于不争气的流了下来……。

之后的日子，我都待在医院里陪她。
她一直要我去上课，但是我在教室根本无心上课，
哪怕哪一刻她都将永远离开我，而我却见不着她最后一面。
她看着天花板，笑着说「我的生日快到了呢。」
「恩，我没忘。妳是在妳最爱的秋天生的。」
我握着她纤细的手
「而且是在有很多假日的十月喔。
谢谢妈妈把我生在这么棒的月份～」

她呵呵的笑着，我想笑，却怎么也笑不出声音
她开朗笑声的背后，究竟是承担了多少的苦？
看似坚强，其实却是最脆…

一群医生又跑进病房，我丢下手中的东西奔了过去。
她最近发病的次数很多，生命就像将燃烧完的蜡烛…蜡烛…。
每次当麻醉药退的时候，她总是给我一个笑容。
告诉我她没事。
这次她没有力气告诉我她没事，
我握紧她的手「别说话，休息一下。」

医生告诉我她的时间所剩不多，要我要有心理准备。
我坐在她的床边，看着她不如以往娇嫩的容颜，
瘦弱的手，憔悴。
我无声的流出泪来，因为我不敢让她听见，
她都没哭，我怎能哭。

我低着头，墙上的中滴答地飨着
「还有一分钟是我的生日呢。」
「妳怎么没睡？」我吓了一跳
「平…哭的时候要哭出声音喔…不然会得内伤呢。」
「五、四、三、二、一……碰～祝我生日快乐～」她开心的笑着

「羽澄，」
「恩？」
「嫁给我，好吗？」我拿出戒指
她看着我，流下泪来……「我…我……」
「好不好？…」
「好……。」

我替她戴上戒指后，
她闭上眼，轻轻的说「平…我要当你的妻子，
我下辈子一定要当你的妻子，好不好？」
「好。」

「然后我们要在去看海边看星星，好不好？」
「好。」

「然后要生两个孩子，女的叫羽萍，男的叫彦成，好不好？」
「好。」

「下辈子我要爱你到永远，好不好？」
「好。」

「彦平…。」
「恩？」

「我好累，我想休息一下……。」
「好的，妳可以好好的休息了，羽澄……。」

哔－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

平：

今天我们要分手，这是你自己答应我的，不要忘了。
记得你说过，你会爱我到我不爱你为止
从此刻开始，我梁羽澄不再爱你，你也不准再爱我
在我回来爱你之前，不允许你再爱我。
请你原谅我的自私，活着的人，总是比较辛苦吧。
如果你真的爱我，就不要再爱我了。
我们相约在下辈子，不要忘了喔。

Credits : hayleywoojiayi.com

HIHIHI. ^^

2012-02-02T17:29:00.003+08:00

More photos on orientation @here.

Well, been busy lately so I've no time for posts. Anyw, on ytd match with presbyterian high, both C&B' division girls won them with the score of 4-1! Yayyyyy :D next match would be tmrw, against Evergreen! Hee, anywayyyyyys starting to love my class. Onion class ftw! ♥

Okay idk what to post already. Anyw, new blog songsspa ! SHINee zzz. :B

Tumblr ` ♥ .

2012-01-30T21:11:00.002+08:00

2012-01-30T17:39:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA. okay bye :B .

CHINESE NEW YEAR . :B

2012-01-26T21:58:00.010+08:00

HIII.

Well today, sherman and yuki came to my house. supposingly others supposed to come, but. ._. last minute can't. okay can. Anyw, had funnn.

ANYWAYS . here's all the pictures, i suppose o.o of my cny ! hee. enjoy. :B

* pomegranate planted by my uncle ! #likeapro *

i hate transferring photos. there's somemore lo. forget itttt. okay long story. HHAHAHA. anyw, byeeee.

Happy chinese new year ! (:

2012-01-23T23:16:00.007+08:00

So ... HIIII, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR . :B angbao na lai ~ ^^

Hee, okay. well, the whole day was . kinda boring, went to only two places. which was at both sides of my grandparents. annnnndddd, i've got a total of 22 ang baos ! yayyyyy. hehehee.Spent most of the time gambling huh. standard. :B No win, no lose. tsk ! Actually can win money worth 4 meals of mac donalds one siahhhhhhh. okay shall not talk about it ._. So, yeah ! :D liddat lo.

btw, i couldn't upload the rest of the photos, D: ! shall upload them another day when i can finally upload it. :3

HOMEWORK SUCKS. i'm not gonna do it. :) im gonna get screwed. Oh well. SEE YA . tmrw's gonna be a good day. ♥

U MAD BRO?

2012-01-21T23:19:00.001+08:00

My epic troll face! HHAHHHAAHAHA STAY TUNED FOR MORE! (;

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Reminisce ♥ .

2012-01-21T18:29:00.005+08:00

HIHI.

Okay i actually changed my blogskin. but i find it weird. can't delete somethings. so, i decided to give up. AHAHAHA. bare with my pathetic old skin ! (:

Anyw, chinese new year is around the corner. Obviously spring cleaning needs to come in. Well, mine was, awesome. :B I found manymany things. esp those that are found at edges and is already dusty. hahaha. and yeah, one of the nicest compartment that i've packed is :

Still got alot of compartments ! But i didn't take photos of it. and the before was .. erh hem. :B

AND SEE MY WALL! nice right? ikr ~ :B

Okay, i shall carry on with my findings, yes. i found many past photos of mine. YAY. Some freaking cute. but it's all in the past. ): now like kanasai. HAHAHA. Okay . oh andddd.

there's a huge age gaps coz this was found halfway while i was packing my stuffs.

so i shall start from Primary 5 !

Took this for free, and my mom forced me to take it. so yeah ._. But. wahlao. Last time i sho skinny. now? let's just not talk about it .

Kindergaren 2

#likeatoot.

Kindergarden 1 ! (year 2001)

Spotted me? :D Hehehe. effin cute siah. ): hahahha i instantly fell in love with my past when i saw this.

4 years old.

And lastly ....

!!!!!!!

Cute bo? HAHAHHAHA. Okay that's all ! hope y'all fell in love with my past too. LOLOL joking xD ♥

2012-01-20T16:57:00.002+08:00

School's cny celebration = boring.

Haa. K so went to chinatown and collected stuff from my tourguide. Heehee. Then headed off to clementi to meet my daddy. Soo now im home and yeahhh. damn, i'm occupied with homeworks over the cny period. Yay.

Randommm.

2012-01-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

So .. had sore eyes for three days already. and i finally went to the doctor's, alone. fidgeting with my fingers and having cold sweats all over . coz i hate to see doctors, no. not just doctors. maybe all those related to medical people. ._. & so he said that it was pretty serious. okaycan, and i was given a 2 days mc. but i decided not to stay at home. i can't afford missing lessons already. not being a guai kia here. but i'm a slow learner. i mean, my studies ain't good. if i miss a day of lessons. *now upper sec is. my god, too many infos.* it would be hard for me to catch up. so yeah.. Anyw , atleast the doc made me feel relieved by telling me that it was a sore eye. and yeah, a serious one. Hahaha, the first thing he said when he looked in to my eye was. " wow .. " . but i seriously scared that i might spread to someone else. and i'll feeeeeeel frreaakkinggg guilty if i really did .. ahh. );

This IS tough.

i had to do many things without telling my parents. I didn't want them to worry, i didn't want to spend their money. and i myself is clueless. idk what should i do. idk whether should i see the doctor, how am i gonna fork out this money, and how am i suppose to do. anyone done it before? it's just like living without your parents or maybe someone to depend on. okayyy too wordy. i go sleep alrd. needa rest my bloodshot eyes. );

Seeya . ♥

ONIONS ARE OUR CLASS IDENTITY LOLOLOL. joking.

2012-01-16T19:25:00.001+08:00

I need money, i wanna buy a new pair of spects.

Okaycan. Daddy recently bought over the whole factory. Equals to extra burden. Coz his siblings ain't helping him and he will be on his own. Meannnns I'll be helping him out during the holidays AND GET MY SALARY. like finally found a job . But it woild be supersuper hard working there. As i said, factory, where accidents may occur anytime. Touch one wrong button and the next thig you know, you're on the hospital bed. HAHAHHAA. and plus its an old factory , owned by my passed grandfather. Meanssss, it's effin scary. Like. K scary. HEEHEE. im bored. Soreeyes soreeyes. Pleaseeeeee cure asap. ))))))))):

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Overdue .

2012-01-15T22:15:00.003+08:00

There was much more photos but i couldn't transfer. /; Hehehe.

K damn it, i'm having sore eyes and there's phototaking tmrw ): . screwit.

♥

2012-01-15T22:11:00.003+08:00

Wouldn't it be fucking sweet if a guy sings jaypark’s ‘girlfriend’ where by the lyrics go " Be my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend, my girl. ♥ " on Valentine’s day?

2012-01-15T13:53:00.001+08:00

Stress.. super.. , confused.. very.. idk what to do. I cant even control my emotions. Have been throwing tantrums like a bitch. Have been crying everynight. Fuck school. It's tough. Fuck home, It's never quiet.

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2012-01-12T16:29:00.003+08:00

Only tumblr understands .

I just wanna have a friend that understands me and treat me as one not one who walks in and out of my life. just as simple as that. I'm just scared, scared that one day my friends will drift away from me , like walking past me not even a small conv, talk lesser, starts to hang out with other friends rather than me etcetc. just these few signs and i get worried. and that's why i'm trying hard to please everyone, keep up the constant smiling, catch up with them, find topics to chat with. so that they'll remember me. just. it sucks. its hard. i just don't wanna lose my close friends around me.

Maybe i'm just too paranoid, too sensitive. maybe i'm just too softhearted. maybe i'm just pure stupid. there won't be such a thing called true friends in this world.

2012-01-11T17:30:00.006+08:00

HELLO.

Hi, life is stress, fucked up, and. everything. it's almost 2 weeks since school started. i wanna enjoy times in school, but it's all so fast. its like just flipping through the calander like how you flip the pages in the textbook.

have been dragging my feet to class, trying my very best to keep awake by laughing. urgh .. can't post that long, have to chiong bio corrections. ._. Flunk my very first bio test. hahahah fml . crap. Now i have to copy 18 sentences x 20 times. PLUS i forgotten to bring home my bio stuffs. yay.

Anyw, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY WANGSHAN ! (; , shall post pictures when i'm free. D:

2012-01-09T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hii. School isss tough. Not gonna talk about it anymore. It sucks. Bio and maths. Goshhhh. Just kill me. And my class is so dead. D: kcan, bye.

I missed our chats, even if it was just small conv ..

;Edited .

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2012-01-08T20:53:00.001+08:00

Stay strong grace, hold on the tears and stay strong. I can do it. ):

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the tears won't stop.

2012-01-04T21:21:00.001+08:00

)':

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2012-01-03T22:01:00.002+08:00

Hiiii. May i survivie in school tmrw.

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First day of school.

2012-01-03T16:34:00.001+08:00

Fml. First day of school alrd so shag. -'- tmrw ending class at 3.30pm. Can die. ); now classes are getting more boring and tough. Normal class dismissal became to 2.30pm. Ahhh kill me.

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hi.

2012-01-02T20:02:00.004+08:00

I felt like i needed to write about 2011. And idk why. HAHAHHAA. Okay .. SO SKIP IF YOU WANT. ;D

So, year 2011 was a cool year. I mean, many many things happened in year 2011. I've got closer to more friends and a stabilized clique. well, 2011 to me was tough. There were many events which are taking place and the hardest thing was about studies. It wasn't easy. At the start of the year, it went easy and smooth.

then came the ZONALS COMPETITION.

Which was tough and i skipped quote alot of classes. We fought our way through and managed to claim 2nd runner up in the zonals. Means we're advanced to the nationals. Unfortunately this year was hard. There were too many strong opponents such as Singapore sports school anderson st nicholas and many more. Suay suay we play with all those strong ones and didn't get into the top 8. * D; * people may think that table tennis is an easy sport, but you're wrong. Tabletennis is complicated, fucking complicated -- need crack your brains to predict the opponents next move and how zhuan the ball is. one mistake and its all gone. Ahhh its just complicated. Srsly pray that mrs tan will let our school go support us when we're fighting for top 4 places in the zonals. (Y) :B k what an i thinking it's impossible lol. ._.

Anddddd, then after our matches it was TERM TEST TIME. K and i did badly then. -,- nah, is i every term test also very jialat no matter how much i try. Lol. Then from march till june nothing much happened. I only know i forever slack. And then came the june holidays. Wah, everyday training. Zz. Can die. Kkkk skip la. I can only rmb at the later part xD so, weeks before our EOY started, it was the best. Self studied with friends almost everyday? It was fun. (; it made studying so much funner. HAHAHA what language is that lololol. And it was the time when i realised how important this exam was, it would reflect on my fate. whether to stay in ytss for another 3 or 4 years. Then i started panicking. But it was all thanks to the constant coaching and encouragement from my friends to keep going. I still got slack alot eh. )); but yes, i managed to pull through tho my results still very much fucked up despite giving much effort. When i got back my results i totally wanted to breakdown. And some mother fucker win me still haolian dunno for what fuck. Seriously feel like punching him in the face lol. But thanks to those who cheered me up. (; i guess this year i'll srsly chiong. Can't slack alrd. then it was the time to so goodbye to my 2years long classmates. those who gave me manymany memories. Im sure gonna miss this class. ): and it was the .....

HOLIDAYS!!!

Yayyy, but zoooomed. Its all gone right now. -- in this holiday. Many things happened too. I went to korea, without my family members around and without a friend that i can enjoy with. I felt fucking lost down there despite having that guy there too. I wanted one of my sisters with me . Or even some cool new girl friend. Urgh. Anyw, i learnt to survive all by myself. Despite having little clothes and socks to keep me warm. K i almost died there coz i didnt bring my socks and down there i only wore like 3 layers of shirt with 2, usually 1 pants. And my shoe without socks. LOLOL! and it was like 10 to -5 degrees celcius. k i survived. And then came chalet. Where i could barely went coz i managed to persuade to my dad that it was a table tennis chalet. O.O had more friends and got closer to some. Yeah. Liddat lo. And now its likeee. Tmrw's school, with new classmates too. Hope that tmrw would be a better day. Hahaha.

I WANNA SEE MY FRIENDSSSSSSSS.

k bye. Too wordy right? ikr. xD

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Dedications. ♥

2011-12-31T22:20:00.006+08:00

Well, since 2012 is coming to an end, i shall do a dedication post. I'm not sure if they would read this post, but i still wanna write one for those who created memories in my life. ♥

First of all, vivien tong sok cheng .

HAHAH *be honoured horh sokcheng ! :B*

eh shit. we got too many photo's alrd, idk which one to choose ! alamakkkk.

YOU SPECIAL K ! 3 PICTURES. hahaha! yeahh. it has been 2 years since we met, in a few hours time it will be 3. thanks for creating so manymanymanymany memories for me. ♥ being your class mate and friend for 2 years, and a tabletennis partner. it was great. i didn't regret meeting you and having you as my friend. you were by my side whenever i'm sad or angry. Maybe there were times when i complained a whole lot of thing to you and you don't know how to reply or chill me. Hhahahhahaha ! confirm have one. :B but, thanks anyw. places that i've never been before. i've been with you. such as Chalet and Shenzhen and Camps. they were all places that leaves me a deep impression. and i'm glad that i'm able to go to these places with you. thanks for everything. our gossips, late night calls and secrets. ♥ and thanks for tolerating my attitude. aish. i know i show you alot of attitude uh. seriously sorry. ); esp during trainings .. sorry. ); i just have too much expectations of myself in tabletennis is suppose .. sorrry T.T . altho i couldn't get into dream history class, which was also your class, i hope we'll still keep in contact and study tgt as much as possible :3 I'm always here for you if you need me, just 9 numbers away and 7 mrt stops away. I'll make sure i'll be there. (; thanks for everything ♥ .

Second, Wangshan. my dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr pabo ♥ ! heehee.

(can't rotate T.T)

Anyw, HELLO PABO ♥ Hehehe. Altho we're not in the same class but we're in the same cca. i guess in my ytss friends i've know you the longest. hahaha, the time when i was late for the cca selection thingy. i played with you. hahahah super paiseh. ;X anyw, pabo ya ~ komawo. you never fail to cheer me up. keke, and your pabo-ness. aish. you're a veryvery good friend. a friend that never leaves her friend at lurch. you care for everyone, despite not being close to him/ber. you cherish every friendship you have. and you never ever show to people your sadness. and that's what i always admired you of. ♥ pabo ya, stay strong forever ! thanks for always being by my side cheering me up and also tolerating my crazyness, AHAHHAHAHHA. :B SEE YOU NEXT YEAR ! , classmate ♥ ^^

Next, Jiaqi lao ma ! HEHEHE ♥ .

My prettyy senior. ♥ Hehehe. where should i start from? hmmmm. okay. i shall dedicate to her first ! Hehe. HI MUMMY. my dearrrrrest mom. (; thanks for all those longlong lovely and funny advices and cheer up texts. Whenever i'm in doubt or angry or sad, i'll text you. coz your advices are always great. but nowadays i don't coz i'm scared i'll be irritating xD hahaha. anyw thanks for teaching me many things, guiding me in studies. i super love those heart to heart talks we have. it just feels comfortable to talk to you. thanks ♥ ! heehee. good luck in year 2012 and in your o'levels ! MUST SCORE 1 DIGIT HORH. I support you :B ! hehehe. next year we may not get to talk more due to your o'levels le, and next year it'll be my turn T.T ! STILL MUST KEEP IN CONTACT KAY ? ♥ :D hehehe, bunnies ftw (Y) :D

Next, Gail maurice iran santos. MY CRAZYVRAZY BISTFRIND.

HAIIII HAHAHAHAH . i miss you la whatsapp me ley. heh ! thanks for all those memories babe ♥ I really miss you T.T our heart to heart talks, gossips outings and manymanymany i can't list down. aiyo seriously alot I LAZY WRITE HOWWW. i write alot of dedications to you alrd. HHAHAHA omg i sound very bad siah. plus i type until want die alrd T.T HAHAHAHHAHA I KNOW YOU DON'T MIND ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ xD i love you la crazy. (: (: (: HAHAHAH shit i'm gettin mad. omgomgomg. hahaha. ♥

Next, Yuki kwah yan yu! My eggie.

Hehehe, HI EGG ♥ long time never chat alrd .. ); i hope you see this anyw. heheh, thanks for being such a great friend, great classmate of mine. i always talk to you about my troubles and you'll give me long advices too. i still remembered clearly when there was once i was sick, and you kept sending texts to me making sure if i'm alright, whether i've ate my medicine and how am i feeling. i was srsly touched at that time, it's like you're the only one who cared for me at that point of time. thanks. ♥ also, teaching me in maths !! and our study times. thanks for always teaching me and being a great teacher :B hehehe. thanks for always being there by my side. next year we'll not be in the same class alrd. ); but i'm always here if you need a texting/talking partner. (; i hope we'll still keep in contact ♥ Love you egggg ♥♥♥

Next, Rizel !

Hehehe. haiiii rizel ♥ ! annoyyyingggg. hahahaha you're a great friend. thanks for being there when i needed you and also making me laugh always. :B hehehe. Next year we'll no longer be in the same class alrd, i hope we still keep in contact ! (: hehehe. i love you annoying ! good luck in year 2012. need someone to talk to can always find me k ! ♥

ERNRAE!

Hahahah, HAI CHANGSISTER. LOL. thanks for always being by my side encouraging me in anything i do tho i often show attitudes. thanks yeah. ♥ my lovely chang sister. i hope we still keep in contact tgt and good luck for 2012 ! ♥

Joshua kisshan & Rifiqi.

i lazy find kisshan's picture. HAHAHA. anyw,

HAI BITCH. HAAHA. no, BITCHES. hahah. yo sup. thanks for being

a happy pill xD you two never fail to make me laugh siahhh. two guys who gives me manymany memories. also, teaching me manymany things. and doing things that a girl wouldn't do. ahahha. thanks guys. (; i can't live without you both. and wtf we not in same class T.T ! MUST KEEP IN CONTACT K ! hang out tgt after school (; buy ice pops tgt again. hehehee. and when we graduate, SINGAPORE POLY! ♥ ♥ ♥ and hopefully maurice come's back to singapore and join us ... ♥ (:

Khoo junrong!

2E7 laoban. hahahah, a great friend. (; a friend who has two sides, ahbeng or angel. HAHA. a smart ass and a joker. seriously don't know how he can balance them siahh. anyw, thanks boss for making me smile always and teaching me in math. :B ! andand, stop keeping things to yourself, unhealthy yeah. stay happy forever. Jiayou in your class next year ! ^^

Sherman soh jun hao.

Laoba ! supp. hahaha, hi gou. thanks for those happy memories. Jiayou in basketball and your studies ! (:

Melvin hohoho !

HAHAHA, hi bro. hahaha, thanks for manymany things. you're a great friend . thanks for being a listening ear too. (; hahaha, thanks for treating me to many things. HAHAHHA. seriously xD your snore during camp was the most memorable thing xD ! HAHAHAH. and in chalet you did so many things for this chalet to go sucessful. thanks alottttt. (; Jiayou in your love life and in year 2012 ! (:

My hand pain liao ._. if i still rmb who to write for i'll write tmrw k ! and sorry if i've missed out any, every friend is important to me k ♥ ! hehehe. ♥

2011-12-31T22:07:00.002+08:00

HIHI. Yes, in a few hours time it'll be Year 2012 ! (Y)

I don't have anything to post about, so i'll just post some recent pictures. heeheehee :B

So, on wenesday Wangshan Sandra and i went to republic poly to do homework. mwahhahaha. Sad, coz waffle store close D': ! I swear the waffle there damn nice. Well, hahaha laughed alot and finished my science with the help of sandra's worksheet. heehehee THANKS SANDRAA! So, we head on to cwp after that. on the way kept laughing uh. seriously keep laughing like siao. xD then we .. .. erm, forgot alrd la. so yah. liddat lo. HAHAH.

Okayyy. Then on thursday i went to collect my prize at Marina Bay sands :3 hehehee. it was a long story why i won. but it was actually coz the organizer was my tuition's boss. :B AHAHAHA, so he let me win it. LOLOLOL ! butbut the worst part is that we need to travel all the way to mbs and collect the prize .__. WITH your school uniform. mygod. like a paiseh only. everyone kept staring somemore zz. Hmm. andand, the thing delayed for 30 mins. so walked around with mommy and daddy. see until my eyes want drop siah. all the branded goods. so fucking chio. but when you look at the price , uh huh no thanks, bye. :) Ohoh, and there was sooooo many angmors. wahhhhhhhhh. almost cry. ji handsome yi xia ~ and the girls all have those model figures. zz jealous.

So, bye ~ ^^

Hihihi.

2011-12-30T18:00:00.002+08:00

ALOHA ! . yesss, im bored. just came back from tuition. had training @qihua primary this morning. and i'm friggin' tired and hungry now T.T . anyw my lunch only cost $1.50 HAHAHAHHA. cheap right? ^^ anywww, waiting for daddy to come home with my chicken chop (Y)(Y)(Y) omg shhhhh, my stomach is growling already. ); meanwhile, i shall do a quiz. since i'm bored :B .

Copied from some Facebook friend**

A girl's confessions. 30 likes and I'll complete it. ♥

1) Do you sleep in nightgowns? Nope.

2) Do you like noodles? Cup noodles. ^^

3) Do you enjoy drama? Yes, ones with happy endings. :B

4) Are you a girly girl? Nope.

5) Small or large purses? Both .. ?

6) Are you short or tall? Average.

7) Do you like somebody? Yes,

8) Do you care if your socks are dirty? YES. I DO CARE.

9) Do you like Halloween? Not really, unless i'm allowed to walk door to doors and get sweets, dress in coustumes with my friends etcetc.

10) Are you double jointed? Nope.

11) What's the weirdest place you've ever slept in? erm. i don't know?

12) Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the last 24 hrs? Nope.

13) Is there any type of rumor going around about you? I don't know. hope there isn;t any :X

14) Do you call anybody by their last name? Yessssss. Jokingly only. (:

15) How many boys do you think will read this just cos it says girl's confessions? Maybe none ?

GIRLS BE HONEST.

16) What's the color of the short you're wearing now? Black.

17) Light or dark haired boys? light :B Nah, i any colour also happy. not white/grey can liao.

18) Are you currently frustrated with a boy? Nope.

19) Do you have a best friend? Yeah sure.

20) Have you ever had your heart broken? Yeah.

21) Have you ever thought of getting plastic surgery? Nope.

22) Do you like your life? Not really.

23) Have you ever jumped into a pool with your clothes on? Think so. O:

24) Do you have more boy or girl friends? Equivalent ? i'm also not sure. o.o

25) How long have you had your fb? Ermmmmmm. Since Primary 5/6 i suppose. means it was 3/6 years?

26) Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? Yeah, by accident :B

27) What are your biggest fears? being alone in the dark.

28) Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? duh o-o

29) Have you ever not been able to get someone off your mind? Nope.

30) Do you believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater"? Nope.

31) Have you ever got a good feeling about something? Yesyesyes, and it's damn shiok.

32) Do you ever wish you were famous? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

33) Are you currently missing someone? Nope.

34) Who are you texting now? Melvin ho.

THIS GUY OR THAT GUY? PICK ONE.

35) Cowboy or gangster? Cowboy

36) Face or body? Face. Both best. ^^

37) Sweet or sexy? Sweet.

38) Contacts or glasses? Anything.

YOURSELF..

39) Eyeliner or Mascara? Eyeliner.

40) Pink or black? Black.

41) Pumps or flats? Flats.

42) Skirts or pants? Pants.

43) Socks or leggings? Leggings.

44) Hoodies or jacket? Hoodies!

45) Heels or sneakers? Heels.

46) Straight or curly hair? Straight.

47) White or black? White.

48) Smoothies or lattes? Smoothies.

49) Diet or regular soda? Regular.

50) Water or Daiquris? Water.

51) Pearls or Diamonds? Diamonds.

52) Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen? ??? LOL.

53) iPod or cell phone? Cell phone.

54) Friends or family? Both,

55) Lip gloss or lip stick? Lip gloss.

56) Manicure or pedicure? Manicure!

57) Tank Tops or Beaters? Beaters.

58) Big sunglasses or small sunglasses? Big.

59) Sunglasses or purse? Purse.

IN A GUY..

60) Funny or serious? Funny!

61) Romantic or daredevil? Both. (;

62) Dark eyes or light eyes? Anything.

63) Long hair or short hair? Short!

64) Curly hair or straight hair? Straight.

65) Hockey or football player? Hockey.

2011-12-29T22:09:00.003+08:00

k i've chilled. i love my parents. forever and always. ♥ (;

Anyw, i've got nothing to post but first ..

SAY HAI TO MY HANDSOME-EST JONGHYUN OPPA ♥ ♥ ♥

heeheehee.

LIKE A HOT ONLY ♥ !

♥♥♥

ignore this post . just a normal long rant .

2011-12-29T19:32:00.003+08:00

Warning : long rant ahead, ignore this post if you want.

Strict parents. Yeah fml. Why do i have such over protective, strict. I mean fucking strict parents? Yes, maybe it's good coz they love me or what.

But hello, it's too exaggerating. I'm 14 already. Going 15 next year. I'm no longer a kid. I ain't the kid who doesn't know how to be independent, the kid who doesn't think before she acts, the kid who often gets into trouble, the kid that is still stuck in a well. I've grown up. I know what's right and what's wrong. It should be time you let me do my own decisions. And not make them by yourself. It's time that you let your guard down. And give me more freedom. It's time that. You should think further. You know, it's veryveryvery hard to live in this century with your way of bringing up kids? Okay maybe readers may find me rude. But k i'll explain. Firstly i've hardly ever went out with my friends with a peace of my mind at all. Never. count the times that i've ask my parents to let me out? Not even 5 . I feel like, wtf just let me die. But still i went against them . I often sneak out of house to go out and meet my friends, come out with excuses saying that i've got class gathering, cca, cca matters, class matters. I'm running out of ideas alrd. It's super tiring. Who even goes out and comes home so early like me? By 6pm. Before my dad reaches home. And during holidays i've hardly. HARDLY went out with my friends. I also made many disadvantages for them. Which was must be home by 6. You know. To see your friends who wanna go out the whole day with you so eagerly but just 3 words from your mouth - home by 6. And they're excitement folds up. Plus, always wanting to know my friends keep saying that they pull my results down keep saying what got what r/s and you'll get the fuck out of the house? Please la. Say my friends for what. They are the ones who know me, encourage me, coach me in studies. Ain't what bad shit you're talking about. Next r/s. Nowadays open your eyes. Most parents alrd allow their kids to date at this age k. Hello. It's. Urgh. Seeing yor friends and other girls at your same age, getting to go on shoppig sprees, go out till the lights go off, spend their money so happily without worrying, etcetc. Haish )': . Plus your constant quarrels. I hear them. I see them. I ain't invisible. Your money problems, i see them too. And do you know that i'm implicated in everything? Do you know that almost every night im crying? do you even know that every single action that you do, i see them?

K fml done ranting. fuck.

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2012™

2011-12-28T17:40:00.003+08:00

HELLOSEXYPEOPLEOUTTHERE. (;

YESSS, in 4 days, it'll be a whole new start. It will be 2012 , no longer 2011 . The fucked up 2011 yes. Fucked up friendships, relationships, family, everything basically. Same wish, i just want 2012 to be a better year, with new friends, cool and true ones. Not fake ones. Sooo, k i decided to make new year resolutions. ↖(^▽^)↗ (seems fun!) Heh.

1.) Buck up in studies, no room for failure. Must maintain good results.

2.) Save more money !

3.) Get thinner ! Kept on eating during the holidays π_π

4.) B'div tabletennis team to get in to zonals 2nd and nationals top 8. ^^

5.) able to balance CCA with academics.

6.) Use lesser social networking.

7.) Fuckcare what people think of me and just live my life (; .

not accordingly **

So ..

So yeah, standard one. Money studies social networks cca & food. Thats how my life revolves around. Hahahha. Hope i can really get along well with my new classmates yeah. I hope .. .. .. ? Haha . Sec 3 would be hard. We're alrd classified under upper secondary students. Means longer school hours, more stress, lesser slack time and .. we're getting old! T.T HAAAHAHA.

I'M SERIOUSLY GETTING FATTER ALRD AHH. )';

old friends

2011-12-27T22:05:00.003+08:00

Haaii. just feel like writing bout old friends. like. suddenly felt so far drifted away from them. we once used to share secrets, play in the toilet, sneak out of classes, play and eat together. sometimes, even stood up for me. defended me. once, spitting/poured some kindof drink at some motherfucker who bullied me ? i think. and were always by my side. when teacher's starts to pick on any classmates, we'll sometimes defend. till the teacher also pekchek. hahaha. it all happpened back then years ago. now they've all got they're own friends, i bet they've long forgotten me. yeah pathetic k. i loved and cherish my primary school friends best. but they don't. well. maybe i should stop caring about them too.

what?! it's chrismas?!

2011-12-25T22:30:00.001+08:00

Lol k weird title. In the morning i was soooooo enthu bout chrismas, but now? Uhhhhh. It's just an ordinary sunday. (; well, had my day staying at home watching tv, staring into space. The best thing i did today? gym lo. Bro pulled me to the gym, and so, yeah just tagged along. Ahh i hate it when there's people inside. Coz it'll be so damn awkward ._. ! Didn't do much due to the weird atmoshpere .. so just ran 1.2km. Hahaha. It's fun tho. Shall go again sooooon. ;) oh and it's my-very-first-no-present-chrismas .. :) .. kbye, merry x'mas people! (>^ω^<)

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IT'S CHRISMAS.

2011-12-25T14:20:00.003+08:00

HEEHAHO. IT'S CHRISMASSSSSS. are you excited?? Hahahaha. Well, spent chrismas eve at my aunt's new house yesterday. It was all-so-awesome i swearrrr. She had this two dogs, damien (brown) and sarah (Blackbrown). damien was 6months old while sarah was 8years old. Huge age gap aye? But when you look at them they seem like. 2years old. I swear they were super cute & quiet. Like seriously they would never bark nor jump on you. Ahh. Since then i fell in love with dogs. Hehehe okay too much on dogs.

Well. It was quite a fun day. And its chrismas today hope i would enjoy. Cried super badly last night due to somethings. And due to this incident i realised who were ones who would fuck care me. (: N thanks to those who cheered me up in the middle of the night.

**this post is posted via my phone so it may not seem nice yeah. ;B will do edits when i get home ;)**

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Sup ?

2011-12-24T00:52:00.004+08:00

Hahahah, heehaho. hi! i've got nothing to post ! ): my life's boring k ^~^ . had been training lately and having group chats daily with vivien zhiquan jinwen and yewei through whatsapp. Hee. They never fail to make my day. (; Hee. anyway, changed my blogsongs already.

Current ones are :

GD & TOP feat. Park bom - Oh yeah

Iu - Good day

Iu - You and I

Infinite - Amazing

One direction - What makes you beautiful

T-ara - Cry cry (dance) Cry cry (movie)

Yeah that's all. I've really got nothing to post ! OH OH OH WAITTTTT ! heeheehee. :B

IT'S CHRISMAS EVE PEOPLE ! Hope everyone get's presennnnts ! and maybe lovelife. *winkwink*

MERRY CHRISMAS EVE ~ Y^~^Y

SHINee Power (':

2011-12-21T17:49:00.003+08:00

Q: Being an idols gets really tiring, especially with all the schedules. Is there anyone that you talk to specifically when you're having any problems?

Jonghyun: I think that it's the same for everyone really. Onew-hyung is our leader so we go vent out our frustrations on him when it gets too hard to keep. He's very supportive and will stand by us even if we want to stand independantly. At times, it gets frustrating but looking back I'm really glad to have him by our side.

Taemin: Instead of having Onew-hyung tell us to do such and such about our situation, he gives us options and tell us to follow what we think is right in the end. He listens very intently and will always tell us that it's okay to be a little selfish once in while but to remember that we have other people to think about too, and not just ourselves.

Minho: For me, it is also Onew-hyung. However, at times I don't want to burden him. Because we are a five member group and he is our leader, whenever we have problems, he will always be the first person we talk to. When I can, I call my mom and ask for her opinions instead because Onew-hyung has his own worries. If I go to him everytime I get frustrated, then he will only get worried over nothing.

Key: Although I also go to Onew-hyung when I have worries about certain subjects, if we're talking about personal problems, I'd have to say that I go to Minho. Out of the five members in SHINee, I met Minho first so he knows me better than anyone else here. It's not even as if he gives out good advice, because he doesn't really give any, but I go to him because he's the closest thing I have to a best friend. If I am anxious about something personal, I keep it to myself until I see Minho and the words just fly out of my mouth before I even notice. He doesn't tell me what to do but instead he just hugs me and tells me that he'll be there if I ever need him. Because of his words, I will always feel a little better after I talk to him.

Onew: Ah, this is a hard topic for me to answer. As the leader, I should be the one carrying all of the burden so when I'm ever worried about something, I tend to keep it to myself. Being the oldest, I don't want to worry my dongsaengs so instead of going to them, I will contact Leeteuk-hyung and ask him to guide me because I am still young. Lately however, hyung told me that it's okay to burden the members about my problems because they are there for me as much as I am there for them. So recently, if I ever encounter something that is bothering me I no longer call Leeteuk-hyung. Instead, I've started to talk to my dongsaengs. They're really helpful and will guide me with different suggestions that they give.

Jonghyun: I think that Onew-hyung worries too much about us and doesn't think of himself. I'm really aware of this, and we are very thankful but I hope that you know that we are here for you too [to Onew].

Onew sho awesome. ♥

我以为。

2011-12-20T23:20:00.004+08:00

我以为，我可以放下这一切。但，我始终还是放不下 .. 好辛苦啊。明知道我永远是不会得到那个东西。我却一直想要挽留他。曾美嫣，醒醒吧，别再发白日梦了。

When my life as an Secondary 3 student starts , i'm gonna start studying. i'm not gonna fail every single test anymore, even if it's just a pass. i believe that i'll do better. no more slacking.

2011-12-20T23:16:00.005+08:00

Caucasians are H.O.T . follow ME for more , i'll surely follow back. (;

WAZZZZUP ?

2011-12-18T23:22:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA HI. yeahhhhh, yesterday was boring. pratically spent half of the day sleeping and then studying. GUAI RIGHT ? I know ^^ HAHAHAH. joking . :B School's starting in 2 weeks time and i had to do something about my homeworks so i completed like half yesterday. Mostly was on english. woah. the more i do, the more satisfied * ^^ * i get. okay this weird. but yeah. :B basically, i'm left with Chinese letter writting , English Letter writting , Science booklet (half completed) andddd my humanities which needs more touchup :B . hahhh, and today went to Ion Orchard with parents and Elder brother. shopped and bought two new clothes. (Y) ! super happy coz bro paid for one and the other i'll have to fork out my own money. D: ! but end up still kana scolded by mom. fucking pissed off just now -,- , talking about this. i started feeling damn disappointed. don't wanna elaborate. and so yeah, zilian ytd while doing homeworks halfway where by i felt effin mad in the middle of the night. and i'm usually hyper at those times. HAHAHA. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. okay bye! having training tmrw, hopefully i'll wake up in time. PHONE P.L.E.A.S.E RING ! alrd set 3 alarms. ._. if don't ring i'll srsly throw my phone out of the window .

2011-12-12T21:38:00.006+08:00

HELLLO. hahaha sorrry for not updating oftennnnn.

nothing much to post about. maybe just on the day of my aunt's wedding? yeah. it started off badly, my family was like the last to reach there, HAHAHAHAHA. damn paiseh i swear. :B and yeah, so we're late. andand when we got in they were exchanging rings. damn sweet i swear.

their relationship thought me alot. despite the huge age gap they had, despite having many gossips about their relationship, despite their health problems and despite the opposition of both families. they managed to pull through all difficulties and finally get married. ♥ kkk i only got one picture of them, the others i don't know go where. ;X teehee !

I WORE YELLOWWW. ♥ happyhappyhappyhappyhappy. Hahahahha epic. damn striking can ! see all the random shots one look and i could see me. HAAAHAHA. wore heels on that day. ._. damn suan ey. anyw, the pictures shall do the talkings. (;

____________________________________________________________________

two more weeks to school re-opens ! damn. homework still uncomplete. most i don't know how to do. ); and has been busy occupied with training's . Yishun town, Chong Fu, Qihua, Pei hwa. 3~4 hours of cip for each. but this month i did damn lil cip cannnn ); . seldomly go pei hwa alrd, don't have much time to. ); ! kbye. training and tuition tmrw. *wishmeluck*

will be back !

2011-12-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

will post about chalet when i'm free. ;)

#crazytimes

2011-12-10T00:35:00.010+08:00

Hi.

today, i shall post about my Crazy Bistfrind, yes. i'm starting to miss her. as i browsed through our photo's and conversations with each other, i nearly cried. ); . i miss her so so much. what she's doing now, how is she, is her mom treating her better, is she comfortable there? i'm worried.

She never fails to make me laugh badly, she comes out with all sorts of stuffs and isn't ashame of embarrassing herself infront of us. i miss her.

Ahaha, like this. :') still remembered, she held my itouch and found my camwow app. it was fucking funny coz our faces changes epic-ly. and she kept trying to make funny faces xD .

and dragged me along.

we were laughing loudly, in public. like madly. and didn't cared how people looked at us.

and laughed from the mrt, all the way till kfc.

till we burst out to tears, till our stomachs hurt.

to the extend that we go around making people face's disfigured and laughing the whole out of it.

i miss my pretty , chubby , lovely , cute , awesome , adorable , crazy , crazy. ♥

on the day where we had our CIP , helping Xinyuan community something raise funds. and we two were effin hyper. it's like. really hyper xD . we stood at admiralty mrt outside the zebra crossing. and we practically kept shouting " HELLOOO ! GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE ? " and when some said no we were like " THANKYOU ~ (: " hahaha. it was so damn funny. and whenever crazy see's an angmor she'll be like. " CRAZY ANGMOR ANGMOR , MINE MINE !! DON'T STEAL ! " HAHAHAHA! ahhhh. i miss those times ..

and my often visits to her house. when we watched movies , play and chat.

not forgetting , going crazy. ;)

I suppose i shall stop here. there's very little photo's of us yeah ? but nah. we usually had too much fun till we skipped taking photo's. ;) and i really missed those times .. when we walked to buy icepops , play block catchings , go to universal studios , had our crazy conversations , rants , etcetc . i miss her . i hope she's reading this, crazy ♥

tears can't stop from flowing.

The night is still young .

2011-12-06T03:31:00.002+08:00

Hi, yeah. Imma bored. the others are playing, laughing, talking. and i ? hahahaha. loner la. Nah got chatchat. people drunk and high. ahhh, bored. /: i'm scared tmrw will end early. okay bye. shall facebook.

Ever had a verge to get into a relationship ?

2011-12-02T22:57:00.005+08:00

cute couples are awesome, k bye.

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